Life

I am apologizing now for the following journal, but I have to vent somewhere and this is the best place I know of.

Now for my venting session:

You know how sometimes you feel as though your world is falling apart by the second?

Yeah that would be my life right about now.

I grew up in Southern Orange County for the last 17 years. People there were interesting to say the least. While everyone you meet tends to be nice (there are the occasional snobs), they are still very materialistic. I don't blame them at all, that's just the way life functions down there. Everyone has to keep up with the latest fashion trends, nicest cars, and biggest houses. I decided at a super young age (due to the fact I almost lost my mother when I was in Kindergarten) that I wasn't going to follow the crowd. I have always been very futuristically minded because of that fact and I cared little for the materialistic ideals they held so close. As a result, I had few friends growing up.

And then I came to college. I kept telling myself that now everything would change. I would have the friends I seriously lacked as an adolescent and the confidence in myself that I had somehow suffocated. And gain a boyfriend since I've never had one.

College has honestly been a great experience for me. I have learned so much about myself and how to relate to others. I have also gained quite a bit of confidence in my abilities and in myself. I am changing and I am extremely proud to say that I am changing for the better.

However, that doesn't seem to change the fact that I am still unwanted by my peers. My friend tonight is the perfect example. We've gotten very close over the last semester and we share just about everything with each other in full confidentiality. However, tonight she seemed to act as though I didn't exist and if I wasn't "cool" (yes the hated word) enough to be seen with her. We attended a social event tonight and I asked if she was going to walk home or stick around for a bit. She said she didn't know and continued talking with her other friend. Then a guy we both know and have classes with came up and started talking to us (all three of us) and I guess it had been previously arranged that my friend and this other girl were going over to his house. She acted as though nothing were wrong and I honestly felt like I was complete and utter scum. Then she left with him and the other girl and didn't say good-bye, sorry, or anything. The other girl didn't even meet the guy until tonight and I'm not jealous. I'm just hurt.

I thought my friend and I had a really good, honest relationship. But tonight I feel shafted. I know I can't be invited to do everything with her, but I wish she would've been up front about it and just said, "Hey, I'm going over to (let's call him Joe) Joe's house and I don't think I'm walking home." I would've been, "Great! Have fun and I'll see you tomorrow." I know I'm probably overreacting, but this is kinda the straw that broke the camel's back kind of thing.

And on top of all my lovely friend problems, school is kind of crazy. Nothing I can't handle, just overwhelming at times. And the boy issue. But I won't get into that now.

Anyway I'm asking for any advice you may be able to offer on how to mend this seemingly broken friendship and what I can do to be a better friend because clearly I messed something up pretty good.

Sorry and thank you. For anyone who read this, you are amazing and I thank you for your support.

Love,
Disneydreamer

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!!!!

I love the snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to go to Temple Square on Wednesday and took pictures with the lights. I wanted to post them for you here to enjoy! so here you are!

5 Little Things

5 things I was doing 10 years ago!

1. playing with Barbies
2. playing with legos
3. watching Disney movies :)
4. singing my little heart out
5. playing dress up

5 things on my "to do" list today

1. work on my Principles of Design binder
2. work on Drafting Final
3. clean my bathroom
4. go to Gateway and buy Christmas gifts and English book
5. Get on Trax at 5:24 to go meet up with Jeremy

* I also need to work on my story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 snacks I enjoy

1. Trail Mix
2. Almonds
3. Granola Bars
4. Snickers
5. Dried Mangos!!!

5 song I know the lyrics to

1. Pick a Disney song - I'm pretty sure I know just about every word to any song
2. Beautiful by Wayne Brady and Jim Brickman
3. Be My Escape by Relient K
4. Where We Belong by The Gibbons
5.Just Go by Jesse McCartney

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire

1. Give money to charity
2. Buy my parents a house
3.Buy a car!
4. Move to England
5. Start up an Interior Design Firm

5 bad habits

1. Procrastination
2. Being lazy
3. Believing the best about people
4. Playing on the computer for waaaayyy too long
5. Not doing my homework

5 things I would never wear again

1. Platform shoes
2. Lee Pipes Jeans
3. Fanny Pack
4. A frown
5. The color Orange

5 favorite toys

1. My computer
2. My phone
3. My iPod
4. My sketchbook
5.Boys - just kidding :)

The College Life

This year at college has already been full of craziness and fun. It's funny because my roommates and I are always so frustrated that we can't get out of the city, but somehow we always manage to find things to do :). Our second week here we were able to go to the "Welcome!" dance which was fun, but kind of disappointing. Needless to say, we looked great. :) My roommate is a cosmetologist and did both my friend's hair and my own. It was a ton of fun getting ready for the dance, when we bought new shirts and did our make-up and had Marilyn make us feel like a million dollars, but sadly, the dance didn't live up to expectations or hopes. However, honestly, few dances for me ever had.
I've usually been sorely disappointed with how things transpire and it does little to renew my faith in them. Unfortunately, I'll be attending a Halloween dance this week, but I'm going in with no expectations in hopes that I will actually enjoy myself - that's the way it usually works in the world.
About two weeks after the dance that I loved so much, the AST Dew Tour came to town. And guess what. It was in the parking lot across the street so I got to see the whole thing go up - and sadly down :(. We bought tickets to go to the Friday events to get out and have some fun, and more importantly, because that was the night Chevelle was preforming :). And could you imagine, we got free tickets for Thursday's venues because we bought a ticket for Friday - Lucky us! We were pretty darn excited. Thursday was a lot of fun, but Friday was definitely the better day. Thursday I had class until 7:30 so I didn't get to see all that much , but my roommate and friend got to walk around the booths and pick lots of free stuff (which is always good :P). We got to watch the BMX Dirt prelims and qualifiers on Thursday which was a lot of fun. Friday we got to the Energy Solutions Arena (previously known as the Delta Center) and walked around the booths some more when we noticed a sign at the Verison booth saying "Want to meet Chevelle? Ask us how!". So of course, we did. My roommate then entered herself in a headbanging competition to win 2 VIP passes to meet Chevelle. She did really good and made it to be one of the three finalists. And ......... sadly she didn't win, but totally deserved it in my opinion because the boy who won didn't even bang, he just like rocked back and forth. However, she did win us wristbands to get in an hour before everyone else! We got third-row front and center seats!!! We had to meet back at the ESA (aka Delta Center) at 7 so we went to the parking lot to watch the first half hour of BMX Finals and it was awesome! I get to go to the X Games at home and it brought back a lot of good memories! These guys are honestly insane, but provide awesome entertainment! After hanging out there for a little while, we headed back over to the ESA and got seats for Chevelle! The Chevelle concert was awesome - what else can I say? It was a lot of fun, but we had this stonch drunk lady behind us who kept jumping on top of us the entire time. Oh yeah, and I got beer sprayed all over me by her too. So much fun - let me tell you.
The week after Chevelle I started hanging out with my friend ra10e and she invited me to go to her cousin's concert. They are so amazing!!!! I seriously am in love with all their songs and it took me all of 2 days to learn every word to their songs (check them out here). I'm going again this Friday so you'll get all the pictures and updates then!! But honestly this was a first for me, 2 concerts in 2 weeks! Crazy!! Since then ra10e and I have become awesome friends and I am so truly blessed to have her in my life!
Last weekend my roommate and my friend ditched me for family and friends in Provo and I was left all by myself, but I told you how awesome it is to have ra10e as a friend. She invited me to go with her and her roommate L to Studio 600, a clean dance club here in downtown Salt Lake, and listen to our friend N's friend's band (confusing I know). The first three bands were super disappointing, but then the band got up that we came to see, Pleasant Tree. Unfortunately, everyone was so fed up with the previous bands that they lacked serious enthusiasm for Pleasant Tree. I really liked PT, but like I mentioned before, everyone had a headache from the bands that played before. We left right after Pleasant Tree finished and were going to hang out with our friends C and J at their house until we found out they were going to go hot tubbing - Fun! Not. So instead we went to the U Institute dance - which was incredibly fun! And wouldn't you know it - we ran into her cousins and told them that they have groupies! ha ha ha. We'll see how many groupies they get after this Saturday and I wouldn't be suprised if they have a lot more than groupies! They're awesome!!! I'll update soon - I promise ra!!

♥ you guys
dreamer

A New Day

Today is an amazing day! Right now I'm in SL and it's raining!!!!!!! Before coming to college, I lived in Southern California and I never ever saw rain. I'm definitely used to the sun, wind, and beach. All that's nice, but rain brings a cleansing feeling. Whenever it rains, I feel like everything bad is washed away.
Last night as I was sleeping, I heard thunder. I don't know why, but it makes me feel warm and secure - I said don't ask why :). It's like my air conditioning unit at home. Whenever it kicks on, it lulls me to sleep. Weird - believe me I know.
This continues to add to my amazing week already. Everyday has been full of laughter, friends, and memories I won't be to push out of my head. I keep going over these last few days in my mind like it's on a continuous reel, constantly popping up in my thoughts. I hope that I can maintain this happy-go-lucky feel for a while! I'm having so much fun and I don't want it to end!


Ra - luv ya tons!

hi ciara

i have a blog!